No one ever warns new parents what’s coming.
We all watch them hang cute pictures on the nursery walls and dream of cuddling with their baby. They envision sleep-filled nights in which their child only cries 0.2 minutes…and only when they need their diaper changed.
I know what you moms are thinking out there. Yeah right! Let’s face it…Children are wonderful, and they change our lives for the better. But no one tells us how things really play out in the day-to-day.
So take note, new moms (and take heart, current moms who think they’re alone). Here are the top 5 ways your life will never be the same…
5) Showers. You’ll be lucky to get them. And while you’re washing your hair, you’ll worry about whether your baby is crying or whether your older kids are killing each other. And then you’ll worry that you’re a bad mom because you’re taking a minute for yourself. It’s called mom guilt. It will be your companion for the rest of your life.
4) Eating. Every bite you take will be watched and will be followed by requests (aka, demands) for food and drink. You’ll find yourself going on covert missions to the pantry, sneaking a bite of chocolate and praying you’re not discovered. And then you’ll feel guilty for enjoying a treat while depriving your children. Remember that mom guilt? It’s baaack.
3) TV. No longer will you be able to watch whatever you want. Your kids don’t care that it’s the finale of Dancing with the Stars. They want Mickey and Elmo. My suggestion? Put them to bed early and enjoy the show. (And tell the mom guilt to take a hike.)
2) Vacations. They’re no longer a vacation. You’ll be on duty 24/7. Have visions of resting on the beach while your children quietly build sandcastles like the world’s next great architects? Nope. They’ll be burying you in the sand while you try to take a nap. Enjoy!
1) Grocery shopping. You’ll either love it or detest it. If your spouse stays home with the kids, you’ll feel like you just won the lottery. An hour to yourself? Sweet! On the other hand, if you have to drag your kids to the store with you, good luck. Suddenly you’ll sympathize with all those frazzled moms you used to judge. Y’know, the ones whose kids threw a temper tantrum in the checkout line? Yep, you’re that mom now.
And somewhere in the midst of all this, you’ll remember that these little souls are gifts from God, and yep, you’ll feel guilty for wanting your old life back. But you’ll also be thankful that they remind you to not be selfish, to love someone a tiny fraction of the size of God’s love for us, to strive for wholeness in Him.
So enjoy them while they’re young. And start saving for college.
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If you’re a parent, what has most surprised you about parenthood? Anything to add to my list? If you’re not a parent, do any of these things surprise you?
All right, moms, I know the noise is inevitable. But if you reach your end, here are some options.
